Did you know I could see into angelic realm? I can also see into the spirit realm of plants and animals and spirit realm of ancestors. I can see auras of people on various levels (energetic field, colors, illnesses), and I can read Akashic Records (soul’s purpose and its journey).
You can call it clairvoyant, or psychic, but I guess I prefer the term Seer. I never entertained the idea to make it my vocation or practice on people in any way. I never had a call to be a fortuneteller or healer of any sort. I could just see what is, on the unseen level, and it made me feel uncomfortable.
I had these abilities from birth, I did not need to develop them, unlock them, or go through any rituals or prayers to enter any of these realms. I just walked in and connected. It came to me and my sister, from the maternal line of my Siberian grandmother Anna, who had these abilities too.
I lived with it quietly, occasionally allowing it in, but mostly ignoring and trying my best to look normal. I had this tremendous fear of what will others say or think of me if they knew what I can see. Sometimes I thought of myself as crazy. But nobody seem to notice anything off about me, so I passed on as “not crazy” so far, rather a little antisocial.
I went to Ayahuasca and San Pedro plant medicine ceremony on 5th of April. These were my first encounters with plant medicines or psychedelics of any type. My intention of going there was healing, as I was going through some rough time controlling emotions, that were detoxing out of my body. So I was looking for some purging of the past, healing of the mind and peace of the heart. I didn’t think this ceremony would intensify my abilities and bring them onto the surface. (Duh.) Not only the seeing intensified, all of the beings in these realms started talking to me as well. (Here is the time for you, reader, to abandon this blog post and run for the heels.) I came out of there, facing reality of who I am more harshly than ever, and decided to come out of the closet for the peace of my mind.
Just to confirm what I already knew, I went to the local Seer an asked her to look into my Akashic Records. This is first time ever I went to any type of psychic person, I always thought of them as delusional people and didn’t want to get in touch with any of that. I told her nothing of myself, except that I am an artist, looking for some existential answers. She called me a “wounded healer” and suggested I start living up to my soul’s calling. “But I already do” – I told her. “I paint and teach spiritual type of art and all of it has healing effect on people. I show spiritual realms through my paintings.” “But you are silent, you never vocalize who you are. You started painting, so that you don’t have to speak. You can be so much more if you just embrace it.” – she said.
I came home feeling very irritated and decided that her reading was off. I went to the Akashic realm to look for answers, but more details of the same thing kept pouring in. And the more I looked, the more fear I was facing at the magnitude of what was available to see and experience. I asked my sister for permission, then looked into her Akashic records and told her what I saw. She started crying uncontrollably, telling me how she did not live up to her soul’s calling. I looked at her and saw a mirror of myself, mirror of so many of us. Fearful of who we are, of how amazing we are, of how magical we are. How many of us are afraid to unfold, to acknowledge, to experience? How many of you can honestly say you are not a powerful being of light in your essence, deep down on your soul level? We all know we are, question is can we embrace it?
So here you go, beautiful artists. Love and light to you all and to myself. And no judgement on any level.
What’s new? Upcoming online art workshop “Re-Connect to Nature” on 1st of July. I offer it on “pay what you can” basis. Workshop is inspired by my recent connection to plant medicines. Exploration of portraiture art through painting, drawing, sculpting and journaling. If you see this note much later than release date, you can still sign up on self-study basis. CLICK HERE to register.